This Week's Q & A

Q: We purchased our home more than two years ago and have spent a lot of time and effort (not to mention money) fixing it up. A lot of that effort has been focused on the yard, which the prior owners had neglected for years. Our neighbors have a large yard of their own, but, for some reason, they have placed a basketball net just a few feet from the fence separating our properties. The result, predictably, is that basketballs frequently land in our yard. And, also predictably, the neighbor’s kids or their friends are forever traipsing through our yard (or climbing the fence) to retrieve the balls. We’ve asked them politely and frequently to move the net – not a difficult feat, because it is portable. But they’ve told us, essentially, that it’s their property, and they’ll put the net wherever they please. Can you suggest any way to resolve this problem?

A: Not really, but your letter does help explain why there is so little hope of negotiating a lasting peace in the Middle East. I guess it’s a good thing they’re not dealing with basketball hoops, too.

Actually, there are a few obvious steps you can take. Try to suggest a compromise – offer to share, or pay in full, the cost of acquiring and installing a permanent hoop elsewhere in their yard. If that doesn’t fly, and if the flying basketballs really are intolerable, consider building a higher fence, assuming zoning rules will permit that. Alternatively, you can turn this into a legal battle – call the police, have them order your neighbors to stop trespassing on your property, and take them to court if they violate the order.

I have to tell you, though, most judges consider spats of this kind to be a waste of court time, and understandably so. There isn’t a jurist living who can enforce mutual tolerance and respect, and that’s what this really is all about. Your neighbor should be more sensitive to your concern about the appearance of your lawn and you should be more tolerant of children who chase stray balls in your yard. It wouldn’t take much give on both sides to make this problem disappear.

The fact is, either you and your neighbor are going to get along with each other, or you aren’t. If not, then even if you somehow manage to resolve the basketball problem (or find a police officer or a judge who can resolve it), one or both of you will find something else to fight about before long. So why don’t you aim for a lasting peace rather than a temporary truce? Start by trying to determine if there are other issues you need to resolve. Have you said or done something in the past that might explain why your neighbor is being unreasonable about the location of the basketball net? Is there something about your neighbor that is making you overly sensitive to the presence of basketballs, and children chasing them, in your yard? Ideally, you and your neighbor should sit down and try to work this out; perhaps you could suggest a mediator as an alternative to calling the police or filing suit. You may discover that you can find a solution on your own. And there might be hope for peace in the Middle East after all.